Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
