I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
