He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
