can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
