I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
