Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
