**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
