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• (305): View more from Florida

  She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm there.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know

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• (914): View more from New York

  He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.

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• (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly

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• (619): View more from California

  It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity

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