i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that