Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.