You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!