Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
my poor anus