Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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