he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
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Blood and glitter go together right?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
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you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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