it's too hot outside to masturbate.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
