Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
