Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
