Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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