There is no way he is gay with that hair.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
