I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
