I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
is wine microwaveable?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
