I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
