Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize