hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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