Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
