I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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