your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
