Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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