I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
