when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
