i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence