I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead