I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
