I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.