somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.