aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize