yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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