I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
