He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
