Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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