Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Randomize
