I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
