Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA http://tfl.nu/902z
  Replies (36) Good night (3062) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville.. http://tfl.nu/vgyl
  Replies (38) Good night (1878) Bad night (5363)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls. http://tfl.nu/qy86
  Replies (27) Good night (833) Bad night (7323)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat. http://tfl.nu/e56w
  Replies (19) Good night (975) Bad night (4840)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors. http://tfl.nu/h61j
  Replies (5) Good night (3654) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard. http://tfl.nu/xmhj
  Replies (12) Good night (4357) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night http://tfl.nu/i23x
  Replies (1) Good night (2038) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea. http://tfl.nu/s5sl
  Replies (4) Good night (2450) Bad night (708)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning http://tfl.nu/m43n
  Replies (9) Good night (692) Bad night (2073)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot" http://tfl.nu/alep
  Replies (5) Good night (1319) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter http://tfl.nu/wvk4
  Replies (13) Good night (719) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (787): I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities http://tfl.nu/2egx
  Replies (3) Good night (711) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring. http://tfl.nu/m8y1
  Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (213)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date http://tfl.nu/7for
  Replies (1) Good night (1096) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive. http://tfl.nu/2l27
  Replies (0) Good night (725) Bad night (275)

Randomize