Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed http://tfl.nu/9co8
  Replies (14) Good night (1095) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night? http://tfl.nu/ftgg
  Replies (19) Good night (724) Bad night (1597)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting http://tfl.nu/19oh
  Replies (20) Good night (2251) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen. http://tfl.nu/yxbj
  Replies (43) Good night (2814) Bad night (1026)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room (1-225): haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom? http://tfl.nu/q6me
  Replies (55) Good night (10364) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement... http://tfl.nu/jgil
  Replies (13) Good night (835) Bad night (5057)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes. http://tfl.nu/xws1
  Replies (47) Good night (4716) Bad night (1552)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed! http://tfl.nu/axg9
  Replies (16) Good night (1106) Bad night (4902)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name. http://tfl.nu/xkiq
  Replies (22) Good night (4209) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar http://tfl.nu/fy9n
  Replies (6) Good night (3134) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day. http://tfl.nu/b3rk
  Replies (15) Good night (3731) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this? http://tfl.nu/vht4
  Replies (6) Good night (740) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area http://tfl.nu/q3t9
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (234)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker. http://tfl.nu/pfab
  Replies (2) Good night (220) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime http://tfl.nu/tsil
  Replies (1) Good night (369) Bad night (280)

Randomize