Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive

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(562): View more from California

not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.

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(212): View more from New York

Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?

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(+61): View more from Australia

We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds

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