Texts From Last Night

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  (845): View more from New York

  Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.

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  (845): Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes. http://tfl.nu/5scb
  Replies (44) Good night (1259) Bad night (1723)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.

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  (732): we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday. http://tfl.nu/ogx9
  Replies (6) Good night (3068) Bad night (582)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.

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  (919): I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx. http://tfl.nu/hq1e
  Replies (187) Good night (4152) Bad night (2000)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe

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  (712): it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe http://tfl.nu/5ing
  Replies (14) Good night (3703) Bad night (1405)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.

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  (317): After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now. http://tfl.nu/z4u1
  Replies (38) Good night (988) Bad night (8922)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch

  (636): View more from Missouri

  Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?

  (573): View more from Missouri

  IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation

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  (573): just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch (636): Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving? (573): IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation http://tfl.nu/yr3e
  Replies (29) Good night (7150) Bad night (2364)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again

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  (732): hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again http://tfl.nu/ne0q
  Replies (23) Good night (1660) Bad night (7733)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.

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  (403): Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon. http://tfl.nu/v8j0
  Replies (2) Good night (2137) Bad night (1102)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.

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  (270): My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there. http://tfl.nu/pghu
  Replies (0) Good night (1386) Bad night (589)
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  (+49): View more from Germany

  we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!

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  (+49): we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?! http://tfl.nu/7d9u
  Replies (8) Good night (2425) Bad night (567)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?

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  (+44): He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day? http://tfl.nu/3a44
  Replies (14) Good night (3527) Bad night (608)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.

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  (785): I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend. http://tfl.nu/8tu9
  Replies (3) Good night (905) Bad night (535)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...

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  (706): Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles... http://tfl.nu/pb5u
  Replies (6) Good night (351) Bad night (761)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with

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  (905): I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with http://tfl.nu/izq7
  Replies (1) Good night (528) Bad night (318)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.

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  (775): Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up. http://tfl.nu/3l8e
  Replies (1) Good night (606) Bad night (242)

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