i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize