you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you