Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
