the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
