It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
