This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Randomize
