so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize