I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
That's intense
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
