Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
