im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So. Much. Porn.
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