The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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