Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
