bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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