Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
