Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize