Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
