We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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