im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
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