but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
