he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
