im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
