I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
