i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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