i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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