i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
