Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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