I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
