just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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