i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
