god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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