He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
