Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Randomize
