Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
